You think you've had a bad day at work?
I think I got you beat.
That's... not me.
Nope. That's my partner.
Suck it!
There I am.
Three or four days ago, I didn't know this world existed.
Three or four days ago, I wasn't in the Rest In Peace Department.
I heard you coming by the way.
Look at this French girl gets the jump on Boston's finest.
Hey, you got the drop on me huh?
I feel like a genius right now. I couldn't have planned this better.
Well, genius there is an orange tree in the backyard.
I'd like it there.
Yeah, there is an orange tree in the backyard. How weird.
I don't know how it got here. Me neither.
You know it's a symbol of prosperity, don't you?
No. I've never heard that.
It is. Ask anyone in Florida.
No. You're crazy. This tree is never gonna make it through the winter.
Well, we aren't gonna make it through the winter.
In this freezing little house.
I love our freezing little house. Oh, you do, do ya?
But don't you want more?
I always worried about money. Don't you want to real a house, a car?
I don't worry about money, You do.
I have everything I need right here.
My husband with me.
Well, you will always have that.
I got to go to work.
I'll tell you when you can go to work. Oh, really?
Watch that ankle. Love you, baby!
Bye. Love you!
I got my picture in the trophy case I see.
Look at that! Already immortalized.
Oh, right place, right time. What can I say?
Hey, Bobby. Hey.
Garth, Jesus, get a robe or something.
You're asking too much of that towel.
Morning, partner.
Good morning.
Hey guys, love to have you at the Union, meeting, Monday.
Oh sweet Jesus, Murphy. Come on! Oh no! I will shoot that thing.
That's pretty devastating. It's gonna be awhile before I get that image out.
Hey, what did you do with yours?
I burried it. Really?
I thought you were joking about that, but you know, it's not the worst idea.
It's gold and you bury it. Right?
Listen, Bobby. I'm out.
You're out?
Nothing has to change for you.
You do whatever you want. But I'm putting mine in the evidence. It's done.
Nicky. I said I would move it first. I'll take care of everything.
It's not what I'm talking about Bobby.
I'm talking about the way she looked at me this morning.
I knew.
Look, we went in there to make a drug bust. Which we did.
We didn't expect this gold to fall into our laps.
We weren't looking for it.
But it happened.
The way I see it, you do it for Julia, for your future together. It's simple.
No. She's happy. I'm not going to risk that.
I'm sorry buddy.
Oh, you're right.
I hate it when you're right.
We got to turn the whole thing in.
There goes the speedboat.
Look, you don't have to worry. I'm not pointing my finger at you.
You do whatever you want to do.
No. It's bothering me too.
So, let's grow old and poor together.
Listen up! We got Garza. We got an address.
Wait, you got Garza? You got actual eyes on him?
An informant gave up his whole meth operation.
He's there, we got him.
Okay, We're in business, partner.
Get another picture in the trophy case.
Do you know how long we've been waiting for Garza to slip up?
The guy is a Meth dealer, a cop killer. He's got 30 guys with him.
It's not gonna go easy.
Now, standby for inspiring motivating words from Detective Bobby Hayes.
How about we don't get shot today.
That's great advice here. You're good cop.
Detective Hayes advice us we should avoid getting shot.
And also everybody should put their charm braclets on now.
Hey, that's my grandmother's St. Christopher Medal, jackass.
It's adorable.
I wear it for protection.
As for protection, well. this stop bullets.
And yours stops you from getting dates.
Let's go!
Move it! Move it! Let's go!
Move it!
Stay on my lead. Let's put them on their heals.
Hey, Be safe, will ya?
Knock. Knock.
Police Officer!
I see Garza.
He's on the catwalk.
Damn it! Garza's out the South window.
Jesus! Whoa, that was close.
The hell you're doing? You almost got me.
But, I can't let you turn that gold in.
What?
Tough day.
It's normal to be a little tounge tied, at first.
I want you to know that I'm here to help you.
I've sat in that chair.
So take your time.
Ease into it.
Ease into what?
Come on, genius. I know you can get there.
This is a joke.
Halarious. Hahaha.
I'm dead?
Let's be honest. Being a dirty cop.
Is one of the higher "shot in the face" percentage jobs.
That's not who I am. Really? Pretty boy?
How'd it feel, as you were headed towards judgment?
Comfortable? Feel like you were bound for glory?
Or were you a little worried that you were goin' down.
I thought so.
You're lucky Nick.
You have skills that we want.
So, we're giving you a choice.
You can take your chances with judgment.
Or... you can join the R.I.P.D.
The R.I.P.D?
Rest In Peace Department.
I get it. It's cute.
Simply put, we find dead people that have managed to escape judgment.
We ship them off back down to where they belong.
Tour is 100 years.
You say yes we send you back down to Boston.
Your home turf. I'll do it.
That's not gonna work.
What's not going to work? I said I'm in.
I know what you're thinking. You're in a rush.
You want your old life back. You want Julia.
No. You asked me to help you.
And I'm here to help.
You really don't think I can read you?
I know everything there is to know about you.
Don't squander on this opportunity, Nick.
I know for a fact.
You can use a good recommendation on Judgement Day, okay?
I think you're smellin' what I'm sellin'.
Any more questions?
What's with the Steely Dan?
No idea. It's always playing.
Seems to relax people.
Let's do this. Yes Let's.
This'll tickle a bit.
What the...
Clinch 'em, and get over here.
Settle down!
This is holding, we call them Dead'Os.
Until they've popped, they look like regular people.
So, no one except us knows they're monsters inside.
Hey!
See? If you slip through the cracks, and stay on Earth after you die,
Your souls rots.
They rot. The world rots.
Global warming, Black plaque, Bad cell reception. Get it?
Without the R.I.P.D, the world would have been overrun by these dead people.
Sometime in 1954.
How's staying an option?
150,000 people die everyday. This place is,
wasn't designed to handle that kind of volume.
Welcome to the big league.
R.I.P.D. Boston.
Before you are the greatest law officers who ever lived, and died.
We're the 3rd biggest precinct in the force.
What's the first? Bocca.
R.I.P.D. Scottsdale. A lot of volume too.
Trust me, chest hair is makin' a big come back.
I'm telling you!
Chicks dig it.
It's a lot to take in on your first day dead.
But don't worry, your partner will explain it all to you.
No! Go get your hands off me!
I said get your hands off me!
Almost had him.
Come on! Roy! Oh, you come on!
'Cause I'm the only one willing to lethal up.
Oh Jesus. Oh you Jesus!
Roy! What? He was going for the door.
I'll plant a gun on him, If it makes you feel any better.
Would you like to take this up with Eternal Affairs?
We both know what this is about, don't we, honeypon?
Not the time, Roy.
Why not have it out now? I'm comfortable.
Roy, meet your new partner.
Nick Walker.
We've been over this before. I'm a one man operation.
Not a choice Roy.
Nope. You gotta earn that.
Come on, Rookie. Grab your juevos.
Hop on in, don't be shy.
Goin' for a ride.
Ever think about hiding this place a little better?
When was the last time you got a VCR repaired?
Point taken.
That's right, you're back. Don't wet your pants over it. Come on!
Don't wanna be late.
Proctor likes to start ya off with some closure.
Get in!
Disappointing turn out, huh?
Expected more?
We got a lot to talk about,
but for now, I'm just gonna to step back and let you soak it in for a minute.
This moment is not about me. This is about you.
Letting go.
Thank you for letting me soak it in.
I'll wait for you. Alright.
You know what my funeral was?
Watcin' a bunchof coyote's, pick my carcas clean,
and dragged my bones off into a cave.
Freakin' cave, Hoss.
Here it comes.
Be careful now!
Hey! Come on! Hey! Watch it!
Julia! Julia!
I'm here, and I don't know how, but I'm here.
I'm sorry, I don't know you.
Can we just talk, can we just go somewhere?
Julia! Hey Julia!
What's your problem? Huh?
Piece of shit! Piece of shit!
Back on the meds, bud.
That went well.
Try n do somethin nice for you.
What just happened? How could she not know it's me?
To them, you don't look like you, you don't sound like you.
If you try to tell them who you are, comes out all garbled up.
The Universe, in it's ultimate wisdom, will not let you reveal yourself.
It's smarter than us.
That's sick.
Consider it The Universe's Witness Protection Program.
So what do I look like?
Here. These are your ID's.
Some federal, lotta utilities, whatever gets us access.
Really? An old Chinese guy?
What about you?
Well, I guess you win Roy.
Let me bring you up to speed with what's on my plate.
When you ride with me, You ride with the best.
Pace is lightning, expectations high.
Things are gonna come at you fast. they're gonna come hot, and they're gonna come wet.
Wet? Learn to drive Bimbo!
You've done this before? Driving?
Ah! You're gonna get your feet wet, with a standard pickup.
Find the suspect, then test him. See if he's a Dead'O.
And then... Look at the ankles on that girl.
That's what you're into. Ankles? That's what does it for you?
In my day women, they dressed very conservatively.
That makes you way less creepy.
When exactly was your day?
1800 buddy.
I'm what we used to call a law-man.
Marshall Roycephus Pulsifer.
Roycephus?
It's considered a very sexy name at that time.
Sounds like an S.T.D.
Would you care to drive?
I didn't get a peek at your wife's ankles. Not one more word about her.
Listen Rook, You better work on getting a little distance.
Because you two are over.
You just worry about yourself, partner.
Woah, you ain't my partner, Rook.
You're just the ass in the other seat, till I say contrary.
I had a partner. Greatest man I ever knew.
Right up til he shot me in the back.
That's is wha partner'll get you.
Tell me about it. How do you think I got here?
You got shot with a modern bullet.
Would've liked a modern bullet. Sanitary, at least.
That's exactly how it felt, as passed through my face, sanitary.
The term partner died when I did.
You got it, Roycephus.
Roycephus!
Roycephus.
Just call me Roy.
I was gonna to do that.
Roycephus.
Now, listen up! This is tactical, Rook.
Tactical? A bag of Indian food.
Yup. Got a tip on a possible Dead'O in this building.
Now listen, and learn.
Dead'O.
Full of awful bad dead Mojo.
Effect everything with their soul stank.
Effect everything for the worse.
People and things.
There you go. Broken shit's a dead give away.
Soul killers.
Hit a Dead'O in the head with one of these,
and it's got to be the head, personally, I find the face most gratifying,
He's erased from the cosmos.
Won't hurt the live ones, will hurt us, so you be extra careful where you point that thing.
Pretty solid on gun safety.
Saw that ankle piece you're strappin'.
Live world gun don't do diddly squat here.
You keep your eyes off my ankles. Thank you.
Watch me sniff this out.
Even more promising.
Its always the quiet one.
You ready? You pumped?
Need you out here. Get your snowman on. Get frosty.
Alert. Icy hot.
Is this you trying to sound like a cop?
'case that throws up a lot of red flags for me.
Got to learn the lingo, hombrito.
I'm frosty.
Don't worry about it.
Senior Officer gets to knock, Rook.
I've got 15 years on the force, knock off the Rookie bullshit.
Oh, you've done this before, you know what's waiting for you behind the door.
You can take your 15 years, and you can throw it down the toilet.
because this, ain't that.
I knock, you do the cards.
Stanley Narwicky, we're with the Department Of Health.
Is there a problem?
Oh, mister Narwicky. We suspect that you might be dead.
Is this really necassary? No offense, but, you sound kinda crazy.
Point taken, just a routine test, and we'll be outta your hair.
I am not dead.
I meant that's laugh-- check my pulse, go ahead.
Rook, first question.
It's late on ash Wednesday, an Asian teenager, in a slammed out Acura,
offers you a plate of Chicken Vindaloo.
Do you accept?
How am I supposed to answer that?
Aw, you tell me.
Okay, the answer is no.
What's the problem?
Is it the teenager? Yes?
Is it the Japanese performance sedan?
Maybe its the Indian food.
Maybe you hate Injuns.
No. That's a... Card.
The teenager is Armenian. The day is Rosh Hashanah.
The dish is SAAG PANEER.
I don't want it.
Why not?
Is it spicy? Too mushy?
You. You can't eat during an interview.
I... I don't want anyone.
You don't what?
Card!
The car's a lime green Scion, the season is the solstice.
The dish is CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA.
No! Yes. Yes it is!
It's Chicken Tikka! It's Chicken Tikka!
Oh yeah! That's a Dead'O.
Big O' mouth coming in.
Mother was a snitch in life.
Seein' him like that. Metaphorical.
For some reason Indian food seems to do the trick.
Maybe it's the Cumin.
You can bag this one, my treat.
No! Im not go-- I'm not goin' near that.
Where's that 15 years now frosty?
Gotta get comfortable with the visuals n the smell profile.
Alright, spread em. Come on, let's go.
Hurry up, let's get this over with.
Ah, once they pop, they know its over.
Right pal?
Put all your hands behind your back.
Stupid space cuffs.
Hey!
No!
You want it?
You got it!
Here! Grab him! Get the rest of him!
Oh shit!
Giddyap Pony!
Relax your body!
What?
Relax body!
Give me a reason.
Doesn't have to be a good one. Actually, it doesn't even have to make sense.
Fun, right?
Might have noticed we're pretty durable. It still hurts!
That's what rooks the bottom.
Bottom?
Okay. That's emotionally understable.
You really gonna rummage through that?
Brief after action report.
You were below average within the room.
But you did respond well to my steering during the airbone portion.
Your internal organs provided me a very soft landing.
You have a very impressive crumple zone.
With the exception of letting yourself get attached directly to the beastie.
Stop talking. You were solid.
C plus. Stop talking.
Stop it! Stop it! Stop talking!
You're the one who's talking.
You ran your mouth at my funeral.
You ran your mouth when you pushed me out of a building.
You've run your mouth non-stop since the minute we met.
No! No! No! Shut up.
Shut up and let me deal.
Oh! You deal! You deal with the up-chuck.
Come to think of it. With all this tantrummery.
I'm begining to think that I might have been a little too generous with the plus on that C.
I might just have to lower your grade.
Relax body.
My hat!
New grade, F.
Bus I can forgive. My hat.
Can't even talk about that now.
Go! Go! Go! Time ia a factor. Let's go.
What the hell is this? A fire drill?
Never seen anything this busy.
Seems like every Dead'O moved to Boston last week.
What did I say? Get back out there.
No breaks for anyone, till this surge is under control.
If I didn't need you back on the streets...
What? You have my ass? Dont be a cliche'.
You let him get out the window. Aren't you better than them?
You're the one who put me with trainin' wheels here.
But, go on, make a show, be the boss.
Still have a hard time with the boss part, don't you?
Played the game, got whatcha wanted.
I don't play the game.
And my ass is mine, and mine alone!
Eagerly noted!
Come on! It's flat, anyway.
Roy! Narwicky was trying awfully hard to protect this gold.
Don't you think we should try to figure out what it is?
Trust me it's nothing.
Ninety nine percent of these things are just fundraising items for various religions.
Just crap!
What about the one percent?
That's why we lock 'em up in here.
Bag it, tag it, and bury it deep.
That all of it? That's it.
Sign here please.
Roy! Listen. What?
Narwicky cared an awful lot about that gold.
Yeah.
He was trying to hide it from us. Why?
Oh, so now you're all gung-ho huh?
I'm... I'm thinking we should follow up.
Let me guess, Genius has a plan.
Genius wants to get out on the street and work this.
I think that you could help me with that. You know why?
Because every great cop that I've ever known.
Has their own informant.
Big Roy! I mean Big Roy, you gotta have one.
You want an informant?
Big Roy's got the best informant.
Red socks. Number 34. David Ortiz.
Elliot! He's a pain in the ass Dead'O.
All he cares about is the socks.
So, I'll let him stick around in exchange for information.
Here!
You're in mourning. Got a hole to fill.
You know, I can't taste anything.
Of course not! You're dead.
R.I.P.D. don't eat, we don't sleep.
We're here to kick Dead'O ass. That's about it.
Then why would you eat this? I enjoye the mouth feel.
How's it going Elliot?
We're up. But they're hittin' like crap.
We'll blow it.
Knock yourself out.
Hello Elliot.
One of your buddies, was willing to get erased for this. Why?
Rook...
That belongs in evidence.
I thought you were some kind of rebel Roy.
I fought for the North.
Would you mind terribly, if I got back to my investigation?
Go continue your investigation.
Tell me what this is Elliot.
That looks like a big hunk of gold.
Hahaha. It's not gonna cut it. Try again.
Hey! Hey! Get your hands off me.
You behave yourself now Elliot.
'Cause of me you're sitting there all cozy, and not lyin' in a pine box.
Not walkin' the desert, tryin' to get your femur back from the coyote.
You cops are all the same. Always obssesin' about how you bit it.
How was your funeral newbie? Did you cry?
When they gave your wife that nice, folded up flag. Haha.
Hey! That's fun right?
I think we both know there's no red socks on the other side.
So why don't you cooperate?
I apologize for my poor attitude.
May I take a closer look Sir?
You may.
Yeah look, I'm sorry to disappoint, but this is crap.
Look, Dead'Os they're sentimental.
Lot of 'em believe in this talismatic junk.
If it was something else, there'd be some chatter out there.
I would know.
Alright. We're done here.
These hats are crap.
Keep your ears open for me.
Yes Sir.
You gave him the gold?
You see him squirm? We got him.
Got him? What do you meant we got him?
What'd we get?
Tell you what he got. He got the gold.
Which you gave him.
What the hell is the matter with you?
I'm pissed about my hat.
There, looky looky.
I'm gonna treat you to a little modern law enforcement.
This is called "Givin' the Dog a Bone".
Bones?
What he's doin'?
Okay. That's weird. 'Cause that looks exactly like your ex-partner.
The one who shot you dead.
Okay. I'm interested. Color me interested.
This might be chafin' you, huh?
First the guy smokes you, like a knockwurst, now he's got guys just handing him gold.
Let me think. Just let me think.
What's there to think about? The man's just screwin' you left and right.
Your own partner.
And... The trifecta.
Sleeping with your wife.
'Cause this is your house, isn't it?
Total humiliation.
Justa pants down spankin' in the supermarket.
He's not sleeping with Julia.
Wanna bet?
Yeah let's... Winner shoots the loser in the face as many time as he wants.
I'm not a hundred percent confident with my read.
Hehehe...
Some canolis, from Mike's.
Seein' how Nick used to make us stop and get 'em for ya.
Thank you. Thank you Bobby.
Hey Julia, Nick seem alright to you?
Was he concerned about anything?
No. Okay. Okay.
Why? I'm sorry I got to do this now.
Nick said he burried somethin'.
If he's not sleeping with her, it's kindda funny he's here isn't it?
Unless you guys have a pact, where he scrubs the porn off your laptop for ya.
I get that.
Classy, actually.
He gave this to me. He knew I wanted it.
What are you saying? That he just did this to hide something under it?
I don't know, but I gotta take a look.
I was hopin' I was wrong.
Just, he stole this? Oh God, I feel sick.
You crooked son of a bitch.
When were you going to tell me about this?
Put the gun down. Shut up.
Just get it away from me, I don't wanna see it.
Don't worry, don't worry about a thing. He was my best friend.
I don't even knew who he was.
Get offa me, or I'll break your legs.
Explanation now.
We spli... We took something.
From a bunch of shit rats who would have
turned into guns or drugs or who knows what.
It was a victimless crime. End of story.
Why would the Dead'Os want it?
You think Hayes and I knew about this Dead'O shit?
It was just money to me, I was trying to make our life better.
Alright you did a good job of that didn't ya?
Why don't you go try the Chinaman thing again.
Explain it to her, that went well.
Try it again. If it makes you...
Gold's gettin' away.
Come on. Tighten up.
My wife sees me as a piece of shit.
Actually, she sees you as an old Chinese guy.
and by the way, granpa Chin's, a pretty solid look.
Helps with stakeouts.
The only thing I ever cared about, is what she thought of me.
Is all that matters.
The only thing, what she thinks...
That's who I am. I blew that.
Destroyed it.
Boo hoo.
'Scuse me? You heard me, Boody hoo.
You might be the worst person I've ever met.
Sadly, you do not get to tell her how you did it all for her.
And where exactly do you think you tragedy ranks on the scales cosmic of injustice?
Pakistan earthquake level?
Killing fields level? To me it was pretty big.
You're think you're the only who was cut down in his prime?
You think I felt unresolved as my face was being devourd by a buzzard?
Oh Christ.
You're just gonna have to learn to sit on your regret and pain,
until it turns into a dull, persistant ache.
The way I do it. The way a man does it.
I do music videos, home phone number's on the back.
Excuse me,
I'm not a piece of meat put on this earth for your gratification.
I'm a woman.
Respect me or I'll castrate you like a three year old steer.
Look sharp, We got somethin'.
Oh yeah, that's a Dead'O.
That has got to be Hayes' fence.
You stay on the gold. I got this.
Hold up. daddy's on point. No thanks.
I've see you in action.
You questioning my methods? You don't have a method?
Excuse me Sir, quick word.
Freezer.
Allow me.
My bad.
Let me guess, R.I.P.D. Huh?
Great looks, man.
You and your Panda Express and...
Easy with the racial.
You, with your... magnificent breasts. Watch it.
Hey sideburns, tell us about the gold.
Look, we're all friends here.
Let's help each other out.
You don't wanna get popped, and I don't wanna pop ya.
Oh, you don't?
No. So you're just gonna give us that case,
you're gonna start talkin' and then you get to keep roamin' around.
With your bitchin' ginger sideburns.
You know what? I'm sick of hiding.
Whoo!
Thank you... Ah, thank you very much.
That's better! Hahaha...
Hell yeah.
Let's do this.
Contain!
Didn't contain.
Suck it!
Aww. Straight butt!
Come on!
Rodeo time. Cowboy's got some ropin' to do.
Okay.
Are you okay? Somebody call 911.
I'm okay. Nothing to see. Gotta go.
Kid! Aim for the head!
Still here, you son of a bitch.
Ow, my ass!
What is that?
Woohoo! Coming through!
Here I come! Yeah!
Hahaha. Relax body.
Woo!
Rook!
Over here! If its not too much trouble.
Thank you very much.
I've never seen one like that before.
Never. Never before has this happened.
Congratulations guys on your unprecedented cock-up.
You let an exposed Dead'O loose on the streets.
In the middle of the day.
You're supposed to contain. That is your most
basic job, you failed spectacularly, to contain.
Right sweety pie, it was different.
We have evidence, there's more to this than a bunch of...
Don't get creative. You do as you're told.
When you don't this happens.
Terrifying, whatever rampaged through the streets of Boston today was not human.
Now look where we are. You get to deal with them.
Who in this endless stream of freaks is them?
Eternal Affairs. Hammer's droppin'.
Well?
They're pissed.
Justifiably, however, apparently you've stumbled upon something important.
Don't act so surprised, honeypot.
The gold that Officers Pulsifer and Walker brought in are part of
an incredibly dangerous artifact known as the Staff of Jericho.
Oh, crap!
Maybe feather it in for the new guy? A little bit?
Remember the tunnel we pulled you out of, when you died?
That's the only way to get to the afterlife.
Its a one way street.
This artifact, if built, reverses the tunnel.
The dead reign down on the earth,
that's it for the living world.
Yep. Massive destruction. We broke it to pieces 3000 years ago.
Now it's back.
Till we get the rest of the gold, we're on red alert.
Also, apparently, you need the blood of thine enemy.
There are more diagrams.
Why?
Why? Why would someone make somethin' like that?
Come on! Here I am, whittlin' the streets into order...
Making headway... Year after dominant year.
And now everything I've done is being
threatened because of some ancient totem, forged for kids,
by some asshole, 5000 years ago?
Why even try? I mean, how am I supposed to do it?
Look at you, so proud of yourself.
I got an important 'tude.
What?
Well... What is it?
Actually...
It looks like, you two don't need to concern yourselves with the red alert.
It brings me no pleasure,
to inform you, that because of your recent "Epic Failure",
you've both been suspended. You're off the case.
Woah, Hold on a second. We are the case.
We're the ones who brought it in.
Well, the feeling is, that luck was involved. There'll be a formal
hearing tomorrow, after which, you'll most likely be erased.
Erased?
So, in this moment of crisis, they're going to suspend, and then erase, their best Officer?
And this other guy.
Better Officers are taking over.
No such thing. Name one.
Jacobson, Dubo, Watterson, Carson, Jackson. C'mon.
He's pretty good.
That guy who works at the taco cart. Shall I go on?
Okay Okay! So tomorrow is my last day...
Most likely.
I'm sorry.
Well, it's a shame. Miss Proctor, it's been a delight. Roy, Thank you
very much for your mentorship I'm sure it meant a lot to you.
I got somewhere more important to be.
Who are you?
Why are you following me?
Stay away from me.
I haven't left you.
It's me.
No...
So...
Congratulations, you finally did it.
You get what you wanted.
I might get erased tomorrow, what do you think I'm gonna do?
You're freaking her out, if you haven't noticed.
Ah, I'm not from a time of sensativities, and emotionalism.
And yes, in my day, I bought my love by the hour.
But I do know, that what you are doing is not helping.
Its called haunting, Hoss. You're causing her pain.
Why do you think we're here?
Why we do, what we do.
It's so that Julia can have a world to live in.
And yeah, that means without you.
She needs to survive you, meet someone new, maybe have a family.
Because "YOU" are not coming back. Ever!
The job is all you have now. But we don't have the job anymore.
Nick, resolve your crap. Do like me.
Like you? Yes, emulate my piece.
Your Zen-like calm?
Hey its taken me a very long time to acheive this state.
You could get there too, but for your weakness.
You know what? I've had it. I can't listen to one more self-righteous chesnut out of your mouth.
I don't want to live in your weird past, with you.
Speaking which, those coyote's, who ate your bones, and crapped out your face.
In that story, the coyotes, are the heroes.
Hey, you may think the Old West was all shits 'n giggles, and sasparilla, and two cent whores.
It wasn't. It was smelly. It was violent.
It was ridden with dysentery, no count injuns. I've had a lot of anger
to get past. Okay?
And you, you need to bring a lot of shit out that I've been suppressing
for a very long time.
One of them coyotes, he made love to my skull. Do you know what that practice is commonly called?
I do.
And I certainly hope he got both eyes Roy.
Song is called better man. Yeah I got that.
Maybe I took things a little too far.
Maybe?
I'm sorry.
You oughtta take up an instrument, Nick.
May be a tuneful way for you to spend what my be your last moments.
You're were right about the job, Roy.
We gotta get back out there. Sus-pen-datto.
They want me back, they're gonna have to beg.
I'm not going to take this lying down. You?
You gonna sit there, and mope,or do you wanna help me stop the, you know, an apocalypse.
You put it that way, hell, you kinda banked me into a corner.
I know Hayes is sittin' on some of that gold. There's no way he's just a bagman.
Let me ask you somethin'.
Did he like Indian food?
He's not a fan.
But somethin's buggin' me, I rode with this guy for 5 years.
I never noticed any kind of...
"Soul Stank".
I heard talk, of a rare kind of artifact, that could mask it.
Like a spiritual deodorant.
Be something he carried with him, all the time.
Like grandma's St. Christopher medal?
That'd do'er.
Let's go pop the son of a bitch.
You know what to do?
Oh yeah. Been waitin' a long time for this.
You been waitin' a long time?
Do you know how many years Dead'Os have been trying to pull this off? 3000.
Not one of those jack-offs could get all that gold together.
Until me.
R.I.P.D's not gonna know what him 'em.
Now, go find yourself some trouble. My pleasure.
Hey. Julia.
Hey, I need to talk to you. Something really strange happened to me.
What's going on?
I was at the track last night, and-- Do you remember the guy at the funeral?
The little Chinese guy. The one who is yelling.
Alright, slow down, slow down. Take a deep breath.
I don't know, somehow, I feel like its Nick who's trying to talk to me.
Okay.
I know it sounds crazy. It's...
I know you miss him. I miss him too. I don't think you should be alone right now.
I'm gonna come pick up, and im gonna take you to lunch, and we could talk about everything.
Alright?
Okay.
Alright, thank you for this. Absolutely. I'll see you later.
Take the front, I'll go 'round back.
Works for me.
Bobby Hayes?
Yeah?
Let me ask you a few questions involving tandoori clay oven.
Sweetheart, you can ask me anything you want.
Make yourself comfortable.
How about a little drinky-poo?
Sure. I'll wet my beak.
Comin' right up.
You lookin' for this?
Nice move... Nick.
Hah ha ha... Hey, tough look to pull off.
I'm gettin' used to it.
You know, it was just business.
Make a move. Please.
Easy, Nick.
It's late on ash Wednesday--
We can skip that part, Roy.
Take off the St. Christopher's medal. Now.
Okay.
Powerful stank.
Where's the gold, dead man?
Check the water heater.
Oh. Frikkin' supercop here.
Alright, saddle up.
We're gonna ride you in.
I know it's wrong, but the whole cowboy talk thing, its kinda workin' for me.
What you got to smile about?
Hey. How do you like workin' with this guy?
Hanks on a little tight to stuff, huh?
What we got together is none of your damn business.
Where's the rest of the gold, Hayes?
See what I mean? Won't let it die.
Hey, Nick, remember when I got shot? Got that medal, you couldn't believe I pulled through.
Wild I guess, you didn't pull through.
What, get killed by some junkie, and go to Hell,
'cuz I took a little on the side, to pay for lap dances? No. I don't think so.
Who gets to make that call. I don't accept it.
Hey, let me ask you something, what do you think eternal punishment's gonna be like Hayes?
Hell can kiss my ass.
I'm stayin' right here.
Lap dancing.
Alright, sit down.
Hey, you might wanna book that gold, before your partner get his hands on it.
What's this? That's personal.
Well, it gets booked, along with this gold, that I brought in.
That's right, doll face. Despites my chicken-shit suspension.
I'm available for, like a tutorial type thing, if you or the guys
want a few tips. Maybe get yourselves up near my level.
Why did I have to love you?
We had a beautiful moment in town.
Castatrophic mistake.
Oh, now, but you felt what you felt.
Take a seat.
This is good, its gonna help me get over the "shot-in-the-face" thing.
Whatevers waitin' for you on the other side is gonna be bad.
Don't worry, it's only forever.
Stash this gold with the rest of it. Here.
Hey!
We just booked something just like this. Yeah it's in the, uh, basket over there.
Gonna need to fill out another form.
I'd love to.
There's one decent thing about being a Dead'O, right?
We can't hear certain frequencies so well.
Nope.
Roy!
What the--?
Come on Nicky, you thought I'd just let you bring me here.
If I didn't want to be here all along?
Isn't this thing sweet?
Freezes you guys up, does nothing to us.
They got one of this artifacts for everything.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Come on!
Get the gold, take everything!
It's all there? Uh huh.
Fill up all o' these hands. Come on!
Let's go! Let's go!
Whatsup?
Peace!
No! The gold!
Here boss.
I got it all. I'm on it.
Daddy's got gold! Let's build it boys!
Yeah! Oh, Yeah!
Dammit! Its jammed.
Just like Main Street, Dodge City.
Them dudes, they picked the wrong venue to make a stand.
I invented this shit.
Hot.
Fixed it! Yeah!
Let's learn you a few things about old west fighting.
First, Only a novice hides in a church steeple. Its the first place I'm gonna look.
Second place. Hotel window everytime!
I guess there's only one novice in their crew.
Sometimes the window guy is on the roof.
Haven't seen that before.
Must be the massive destruction Proctor was talkin' about.
Saddle up!
Hey Julia. Hayes sent us to give you a lift.
Guys, I can still drive.
It's pretty hairy out there. He's just worried about you.
Close it up.
Alright, lock it up. Nobody gets through to the Commonwealth building.
Nobody.
Look's like the big one's right over the Commonwealth building.
That's where he'll be heading. Yeah, good read.
You agreeing with me, that's weird. Yeah, feels strange!
Kindda tingly.
Dead'Os on wheels.
Oh that's disappointing.
I was hopin' to get a little break here.
Make it go away, Nick!
I got it.
Holy shit!
Aaarrrggghhh!
Huh... That actually scared the shit outta me.
Get the gold up top. I gotta wait for the final piece.
Hey. You okay?
What the hell is going on?
Lots is goin' on. I'm glad you're here with me.
We need to get inside.
Listen, there's something I should tell you. Its... Its something I've been hidin',
Bobby I think it can wait. and it might seem a little weird,
but I think you should just try to keep an open mind,
and not judge right away, okay?
Oh ho. Ah?
Skycam 4 is on the scene, with continuing coverage.
We are looking down on the Commonwealth Building,
which is swarming with, there's really no other way to say this,
Monsters! I urge everyone to stay inside until this situation...
Oh Shit!
Thank you.
Looks like they built a barricade.
Aaand there's fat Elvis.
Hit him in the the jiggly.
Not bad.
Buzz off!
Can't shake me!
Still hurts, dicks!
Relax body. Relax body.
Hope they have an elavator.
Aww! Shit!
Reverse the tunnel. The dead come pourin' back.
We stay here forever.
Kind of a high five moment.
All we gotta do, is fire up this bad boy.
Yeah! Okay.
This is where it gets... a little uncomfortable.
There's no great way to say this so, I'll just say it.
These ancient things, they often involve an element of,
I don't wanna say "human sacrifice", but human sacrifice.
I'll jump before you can even touch me.
Julia, come on! Come on, be cool.
This is an honor. I'm trustin' you with the heavy shit.
Julia!
Aha! Just in time!
Bobby! Don't!
No!
Shit! Nice shot!
I'm gonna get Julia. You take care of the Staff.
That golden pecker's comin' down.
You frosty? Icy hot partner!
What now, Nick?
You know it didn't have to be Julia,
but I just couldn't resist bringin' it full circle.
Come on, works good, right?
Get over here.
How's it coming Roy?
It's harder than it looks.
Killing you never gets old, Nicky.
Anytime now. I hear ya!
Come on, Roy!
Do some cowboy stuff.
Please! Roy!
There he is.
No.
Well partner. I have a new partner.
I missed you.
I missed you so much.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
It's okay. You're back with me now.
That's all I wanted.
But not like this.
Julia, you gotta live your life.
Without me.
I don't wanna say goodbye.
Can't stay here.
It's okay.
Go! I will always love you.
Good bye.
She's gonna be okay.
Thank you.
You owe me for that.
Let's saddle up. Sure.
I would like to be allowed to design my own medal.
Not so fast.
The Eternals went ahead, and had your disciplinary hearing without you.
While we were saving the world?
Nick, as a new recruit, you've been let off with a warning.
Reasonable.
Roy, as punishment. Punishment?
Yes. 53 more years have been added to your term.
53 years? That's... That's a lot.
This is honky tonk bullshit.
You just like having me around, don'tcha, Mildred?
My hat.
Ha. You went off, and found it?
I guess, I could have bought you flowers once, or twice.
I like violets.
She Billy Goated me.
Somethin' we used to do.
Aww! She covers up them ankles, with those damn white boots.
Never understand.
53 more years, huh?
Well, I still got some things to work on.
Hell, this is the third time I've been extended.
Oh, say. Got you somethin'.
What's this?
I know you weren't happy with grandpa Chin,
so, I pulled a few strings. Got you some new ID.
Thank you. Thank you Roy. I mean that.
This is great.
Oh, you got to be shitting me.
Ah! Did what I could. inventory is what it is.
You thought this was an improvement?